just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
