I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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