New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize