I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
