Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
