you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize