Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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