just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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