You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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