If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
MIDGETS
????
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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