idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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