and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
