If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
