theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
