butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think I died a long time ago.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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