This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
