Too much gin, very little bucket
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize