Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
