Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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