he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
