i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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