your room smells of hookers.
And success
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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