I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize