I have demons in me.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
