His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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