mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
