How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize