Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
