In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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