You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
