No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It was confusing and full of hummus
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
