i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
