would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
