dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
