I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize