and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
