i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
