it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
