I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize