hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm passing your future prison.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize