My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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