She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
