Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Every concussion has its silver lining
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
