oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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