dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
where are you?
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do