big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
