one might say we're banned from that church
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
