His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
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Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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