Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
