Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
