his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
