My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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