you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
