this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
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Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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