my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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